The Priority of Marriage!

I have been thinking recently of biblical priority of marriage because of various situations around me, especially regarding 'leaving and cleaving'. For most part, Cameron and I discuss about all these situations and pray for the people involved. Today I found some time to look into my class notes of Marriage and Family Counseling taught by Dr. Scott a few years ago. I decided that I would retype a portion of those notes as a reminder to myself and for those of you who might be encouraged. Here it is and my comments or clarifications will be in italics:

1. Two Steps to Making the Marriage Relationship the Priority
1. Step 1 -- God says children must leave their parents (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Eph. 5:31)

Even though the Scriptures say 'man shall leave his father and mother', in the general Biblical context it was not even an issue about a woman not to leave her parents. From Genesis to Revelation, it is very clear that a woman always transfered from Father's authority to Husband's.

2. Step 2 -- God says the man must cleave to a wife (not "wife and parents")
3. Results in --> God says the two will become one flesh
2. What Does it Mean to Leave and Cleave?
   
   1. It does not mean:
   1. Break off all relations
   2. Bear no responsibility (2Tim. 5:8)
   3. Abandon family
   1. Geographic distancing
   2. It does mean:
   1. Leave behind a dependency relationship (emotional, financial)
   2. Leave behind your parents' temporary God-given authority over you
   3. Leave behind parent-centered and parent-controlled manner of living
   4. Leave behind the dependence upon parents' approval
   5. Leave behind parents as chief confidantes
   6. Leave behind family's ideas about family structure and functioning
   
   
This doesn't necessarily mean that you throw these ideas out the window; in whatever areas your parents' family conformed to Biblical standards, you are accountable in these things as well, but the accountability is to the Lord, not to your parents. However, when it comes to areas where there are no Biblical specifications or principles, you are free to do as you believe is best and you are not bound to do things the way your parents did.


7. Cleave to peer-relationship with parents
8. Cleave to full responsibility for life and decisions
9. Cleave to viewing parents as advisors
10. Cleave to biblical standards for life and family living
11. Cleave to your mate's opinions, insights and concerns as most important